A grey day...

Sigh... so bored. I am supposed to be working, and I just can't focus. He is in South America right now. I know that I have been trying to distance myself lately, but, it is so hard. I miss him. And, I am afraid that I might be losing him. It has, after all, been years. Part of me wishes that he would see this, and know that it is about him. Know how much I care about him. Begin to see how much I have sacrificed for him. Nearly ten years of my life... I don't mean to give the wrong impression, though - I mean, I don't mean to just complain. I suppose that, for him, it is natural that as I get older, I become less desirable in a sense. I mean, there are always younger girls out there. Really.

I know this likely sounds ridiculous, over the top, impossible. And yet, it is my reality. None of my friends really know, a few suspect that something is up. Oh, alright. I have one friend that knows. But she is sworn to secrecy :) I am sure you are wondering how a young girl could fall into such a mess. Believe it or not, it was actually far worse BEFORE I met him! I suppose I would be better off without him in my life, without worrying about his children or his wife catching us out on the town, or running into colleagues of his when we are overseas. I suppose it would be better, if I could just wake up from this half-dream and move on with my life.

La conte d'une fille fidele

Constantly waiting for your lover's call, life isn't all that it is cracked up to be when you are the mistress of a wealthy and well known man... especially when his wife thinks he might be up to something. Am I a horrible person? You be the judge... I am merely trying to find my way through the world, and come out in one piece. A constant companion, a steady mistress, faithful through and through (almost!), this fille fidele will unwind her tale for your pleasure, revealing every salacious detail of what it is like to be the 20 year old mistress of a 59 year old man...